Midnight Changes

Tonight (at midnight) it becomes a new year. Hopefully I'll be asleep when that happens because I'm a bit really really tired. 

But I was thinking on my way home about this past year (the good and the bad), as well as what I would like to see happen next year. 

Here's a moment: Jacey and I got
stuck in the rain between the
wedding and reception of
Anne and Will's big day.

This past year, there were lots of changes made and joyous moments. Also, there were some moments that were really hard. But it's the hard moments that help us grow. So, here's a joyful list of thoughts from this last year (they're not thoughts, they're...lessons) -->

- I hurt my knee really bad this summer playing Ultimate Frisbee. It was the most humbling thing maybe ever to happen to me. It was terrible and wonderful. I learned to accept help from people more than I ever wanted to. Thank you Irma, Yingjie, Jeremy, Kshitij, Braden, Ross, mom, dad, Lindsay, Jamison, and many more. I know I didn't list everyone and I know I failed at thanking everyone. But really, y'all, I'm sitting here with eyes that are making it hard to see (they're all liquid-like) because I'm humbled from this experience. Truly humbled. 

- Ask for help. This is talked about above and that's really what began to break my pride, but I realized how essential it is to ask. I learned more and more what it looks like to get over myself and lean on the Lord. Not myself.

- Oh, the environment. My heart grew for this world that I call home (at least for now). Though I know my home is in Heaven, the Lord has given us this land to protect. What a humbling, beautiful, wonderful responsibility. The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. - Psalm 24:1

These people...

- Take a chance. Y'all, I got a two-bedroom apartment last year with the idea in the back of my head that (specifically) an international student would maybe need to stay somewhere for a bit of time and I could provide that place. I did that. And then nothing happened for about a year. Then Tugce randomly posted something on the book of faces about needing a place to live, I answered, and I then received the greatest blessing of my year: a dear friend. All because I trusted in the Lord and not in myself (because, y'all, I don't usually take chances...ever). 

- I don't need a ton of to be joyful. This, yes, is something is known. But I've been cleaning out my life daily and, if anything, it's been freeing. The less I have, the more I can focus on what matters: Jesus.

...make my heart...

- Teaching is hard. Like really hard. I'm humbled daily and I can't do it without the help of the Lord and people around me. Thank you, Fallin (Jenn) for being willing to help me survive and thrive daily. Even when it feels like I'm drowning, you help. Thank you. 

- I learned quite a bit about myself this year: how I focus, how I learn best, what brings me happiness (not joy), my stubbornness, and more. What I've been learning the last couple of months of this year is that I won't do something until I've decided I want to. Someone can tell me something a million times over (like, something that I should do), but until I decide I want to do it, I won't. Examples? Biking. Making my bed. Flossing. Drinking water. Trees. Reading. Eating no sugar. Decluttering. Drinking black coffee. To do or like those things was determined by MY brain, no one else. 

...happy.

- I need to saturate my brain into the Word of God. NEED.

- Being myself is more than okay. I've been made special and unique and the Lord dearly loves me. So often, I feel like I need to do something to fit in and be 'normal'. There is no normal. I am a daughter of the King and I should act like it - head held high, confidence, laughter, joy.


- Healing takes time. There were a couple experiences of this year that I would really rather not live through again. Experiences that made me feel stupid (that's a forbidden word in my classroom) beyond belief or hurt beyond reason. It was more than okay to take time to heal from those. I learned that talking about the experiences helped and keeping it bottled up made me crazy. It's okay to cry. It's okay not to be okay.

Here, read a bit of journal.

- Oh, I like to write.

There's a lot more lessons. A lot more friendships that I am aboundingly thankful for. I can't even think over how much God has provided for me in this past year without crying out of joy. I'm so thankful that I have a Father that cares so deeply for me that it doesn't matter what I do, it simply matters who He is. I can see everything that has perfectly been orchestrated into His plan. Not mine, His. Thank you, Lord, for such a good year. I'm thankful. And very humbled.

This next year, I don't know what to expect. I have goals, yes, but not 'resolutions.' To resolve to do something makes it permanent, but I feel like you can mess up on a goal and still work towards it. So, my goals -->

- Buy only what I need (and look beforehand to make sure)
- Make the Word of God a priority DAILY. Daily. d.a.i.l.y. (I don't want to be like a tree that isn't planted by streams of water - I want to be by the water [in the Word])
- Get people together as the body of Christ to serve, love, pray, and do what the Church is supposed to do
- Pray. Pray more. Pray fervently. I was thinking of taking one hour a week (Saturdays) and cutting everything off and praying. Only praying.

Hi, school. You're not so scary. I'm glad
I take pictures to remember joy.

- No sugar. I'm excited and terrified about this.
- Travel. I want to go somewhere. Oh, Lord, please show me where you want me to go.
- Practice and attempt to learn a language (that is, other than English)
- Read books. I want to read books.

That's all I want to commit to. I'm glad I'm allowed to fail at goals.

References to the experiences are sort of listed some places - 

Ultimate Injury
Asking for Help
Learning Sidney
Teaching
Biking
Book List
Cutting Out Sugar

I like to reference things that I've written. 

Peace.

Peace out 2016.

Welcome 2017.

Real Cups

Welcome to another coffee talk. I went to Bluestem Bistro today and drank a lot of coffee. Well, kind of. I got a soy latte and soy milk and espresso shots. Help us all.

Oh, look! A soy latte.

Last night, I was up until like 1AM because I contemplated classroom management for two hours unintentionally and wondered about classroom projects and then contemplated the lives of my students. It was a hot mess.

AND. I had to be up at 7:00 (well, earlier would have been good) to go to the dentist. I forgot to go to the dentist for one and a half years and then I had a dream about the dentist, woke up, called the dentist because I remembered in my dream that I needed to go. If you tracked with that, props. If not, welcome to my life.

After the dentist (with my sparkling teeth), I went to mail packages of books at Hy-Vee. After mailing the books, I went and hung out at Bluestem for two hours.

Wow, wow, wow. That took a long time to get to. At Bluestem, I decided to get something with no sugar so that my dentist didn't hate me. He encouraged me to floss when he checked my teeth. I do floss. Flossing brings me joy. Oh well. Can't win them all.

Anyways, sugarless. 

Oh, wait. I got steamed soy milk and three espresso shots. Maybe that's a lot of caffeine. Working on like five and a half hours of sleep, I was really still falling asleep while reading my Bible. I was finishing Luke. If you haven't read Luke, please do. It'll inspire your soul.

Oh! Espresso shots and steamed soy milk.

Jesus is beautiful. 

I was also reading A Gospel Primer for Christians. It basically talks about 'preaching the Gospel to yourself' daily. Stating how beautiful God's love is for us and how we can't earn it - it's freely given through Jesus. 

Oh my goodness. I'm struggling with the focus. 

When I got my coffee, I remembered that in the past like 235923850928305 (I struggle to put in commas to numbers...) times I've been to the coffee shop, I've been given a paper cup with a plastic lid. That cannot do! It's bugged me. Why waste paper and plastic when there's ceramic mugs?

So I asked for the real mug. It made me feel happy and at home. It made me happy about fact that I was helping the environment a little baby bit by using a real cup.

Also, I ran into someone online who lives a zero waste life that brings their own cup when they're taking coffee to go. I think that's a lovely idea. I should try that sometime.

Good luck tracking with that. Read Luke. Use a real cup. 

Peace.

OH! And when I finished the soy milk and espresso shots, maybe I got a soy latte. Basically, I used my coffee money for the week in one morning. 

Laundromat Happiness

I have a constant struggle in my life where I strongly dislike doing laundry, but there is a need for clean clothes. To do laundry at my apartment, there's a coin-stealing and high-cost washing machine/dryer downstairs. 

Happy times - book, coffee, sitting
on a table, clean laundry.

For Dirty Santa (that is, White Elephant) at Thanksgiving, I got lots and lots of coins. Thank you, Ma-Ma! I made a decision that day - I'm going to use it for the wonderful time of doing laundry.

Yesterday was laundry day. I had no more short socks and a mountain of dirty clothes growing in my closet. It was time.

I'd been thinking of a long time of going to the laundromat. I think it's a good place to meet people, do more loads of laundry quicker, and read a book peacefully. In short, I really like the laundromat.

Really. Really like the laundromat.

Also, the washing machine at my apartment is really hard on clothes. 

So I went to the laundromat. It. Was. So. Much. Fun. I was able to get my laundry done in two hours. That's so exciting! Usually it takes forever and a day.

Happy laundry mountain!

My main goal in going to the laundromat was to meet people. It's an easy place to cultivate conversation (mainly because you're just waiting for your laundry...).

When I was folding my clothes, I got to meet a kind lady! This was my goal. I accomplished it. I asked her how her day was going, we talked about her family, and we talked about Christmas. It was wonderful! I got to talk to her about what the Lord was teaching me and how I'm learning more and more about His plan. She was a teacher in a local school, so we talked about school and children and the happiness of break.

It was wonderful and made my heart full. I think this goes well along my goal of sustaining people and letting them know they are loved and valued.

Peace.

Oh! I called my mom afterwards and my first words were, "I love the laundromat." She laughed. 

ALSO. I spilled coffee all over my bag during laundry time. I found that ironic.

Book List

Hi.

My goal for 2017 is to read more books. I asked on the book of faces and now I have a list that will otherwise be lost if I don't put it somewhere. So, the list. 

1. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
2. Pathfinder by Orson Scott Card (I was told I wouldn't like this much)
3. The Artisan Soul by Erwin McManus
4. The Undoing of Saint Silvans by Beth Moore
5. The Finishers by Roger Hershey/Jason Weimer
6. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
7. Love is Eternal by Irving Stone
8. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
9. Watership Down
10. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (I've read this)
11. Poison Study series by Maria Snyder
12. Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
13. Death Comes to Pemberly by PD James (comment on this - anything by PD James is good)
14. Panic by Lauren Oliver
15. O'Malley series by Dee Henderson
16. Spilled Milk (note - this is apparently really sad)
17. Boys in the Boat
18. Series by Robin Jones Gunn (first book is Secrets)
19. Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
20. Time Riders
21. Gregor the Overlander
22. The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
23. Prayers for Sale by Sandra Dallas
24. Tallgrass by Sandra Dallas
25. Whiter than Snow by Sandra Dallas
26. The Last Midwife by Sandra Dallas
27. Les Miserables 
28. Wild by Cheryl Strayed (memoir)
29. Kite Runner
30. Thousand Splendid Suns
31. And the Mountains Echoed
32. Way of Kings
33. Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon (read this before)
34. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon
35. Unwind by Neil Shusterman
36. Still Life with Tornado by AS King
37. Where You'll Find Me by Natasha Friend
38. Fish in a Tree by Lynda Mullally Hunt
39. Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson (finish this series)
40. Walk on Earth a Stranger, Like a River Glorious by Rae Carson (series set in gold rush)
41. Heartless by Marissa Meyer
42. Uprooted by Naomi Novik
43. Soundless by Richelle Mead
44. The Star-Touched Queen by Rouhani Chokshi
45. An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir
46. American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang
47. Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier
48. The Glass Castle
49. White Oleander
50. Speak
51. Unbearable Lightness
52. Unclean

Authors Recommended:
1. PD James
2. Sandra Dallas
3. Kipling 
4. Stevenson
5. CS Lewis
6. Rainbow Rowell
7. CJ Box

My goal is to read some of this list, maybe not all. I maybe'll write posts about the books when I finish them!

Peace.

Buy Nothing

Hi.

So, on the book of faces (and probably other places, too), there's sites called "Buy, Sell, Trade" with the town it comes from. These are like an online garage sale, which is super fun.

My lovely friend Katie showed me something the other day that I found to be really helpful and made my heart happy. Name? "Buy Nothing". 

Buy Nothing.

Nothing.

This is really cool. It's just a group of people (again, on the book of faces), who ask and give. Gift things that aren't be used anymore, ask for things that are needed. When you receive something, you post a gratitude message to the person who gave you the item, hopefully, also, telling them how you put the item to use.

You have one of these you can part with?
Hit me up.

How practical. And kind. 

I've been working on decluttering my life for like...the last year. But a lot more structured in the last couple of months. I find a lot of things that I don't use anymore that I don't really know what to do with. So, I put them in my back room and ask just about every single person who comes over if they want to check it out.

Effective, yes, but it's a lot of stuff. This is where the site comes in! 

You can post a picture of the item you're wanting to gift (or a description of it) and someone can claim it. Then y'all get together and simply give to each other.

Or you can ask for items! I asked for kind of bottle that's on the right and I got one. Thank goodness!

I've been able to do this with multiple items (wrapping paper, fabric paint, ribbon, and more), and people have claimed them and are going to be able to use them. It's nice to meet up with kind people and give them things that can use/need.

That's all I think I have to say. I think it's good to use our resources to help other people willingly. The Lord gives us what we have to help other people. Let's help people.

Peace.

Note - if I was grading this for writing, I would get a low score for organization. I struggle to track with what I wrote, so good luck.

Want more information? Here. Go here.

UN Sustainable Development Goals

Last Monday, our district had a district-wide professional development. It was really interesting and I feel like I learned a lot! There was one thing that stuck out to me in particular and stirred my affections for this Earth that we live on -->

The UN Sustainable Development Goals. THIS IS SO COOL. The UN has created 17 goals for helping the world we live in. It's broken down into many different areas - poverty, education, water, peace and justice, the environment, and more. 

Y'ALL. This is so stinking cool. You click on a picture (on this website) and it walks you through why that goal is important and then it has different projects that show that goal in place. WOW. All the wow.

This map brings me lots of joy. Helping the
environment keeps the map looking
approximately the same.

All sorts of projects are taking place to help out the world that we live in! Such sustainable and beautiful efforts to help.

It makes me think of what I can do to help out the world and make a difference in my community. In school. With friends. My family. 

I just think the ability to make an impact is HUGE. And this site gives practical goals to look towards! So, my thought: pick a goal that you can focus on and work towards that goal.

My goal right now? I don't know. I have to research it a bit more. I do know that I'm going to continue doing some of the same things that I do, along with others. Like writing more letters to important high-up people. 

Looking at my goal - to be sustainable - it looks like that can go under Goal 12: Responsible consumption and production.

I want to be responsible with what I've been given. There's my goal. What's your goal? 

More updates later. Go hug a tree today.

Peace.

Water

I've been drinking more water recently. This is pretty exciting, seeing as though previously I drank about five cups of coffee a day and maybe one cup of water.

I have no pictures of water. Here's coconut water. 

That's a problem, if you're wondering. I originally just typed wonderful instead of wondering, so there's that, also. Happy thoughts.

I've noticed changes in my body with less coffee and more water, so here's some of those...


- better sleep (y'all, I don't lay awake for hours on end. That's pretty fun)

- getting less and drinking more. Did you know that sometimes when you think you're hungry, you're actually thirsty? Your body can use the food that you eat to pull out water, but it's a more practical thing to simply drink water.

- less cravings - again, see above. 

- no dehydration headache. Y'all, I would usually get a headache on a weekly basis because I didn't drink water. This was HUGE problem, but I never fixed it. Now I'm beginning to! It's exciting not to get a headache.

And here we leave the coffee - hopefully
for a bit of time while we remember to drink water.

- happiness. Okay, I'm normally quite a joyful person. I have noticed, though, that I'm more joyful with water. What a joyful thing to have an overabundance of joy. 

That's what I have. I know it's not much, but I would like to say that water is good. And I wish I had started drinking more of it sooner. 

Peace.

Want more reasons to drink water? Here.

Let's Reuse AGAIN

See? There's a crack.

Hi.

I just have a small, happy life moment to share.

My lid to where I put my coffee grounds to make coffee in the mornings has been cracking. It's an old coffee container. You can see it at the bottom. See right for the lid. It was getting really sad and I didn't know what to do. 

Well, world. Today, I'm making banana bread. Well, right now. Sugar-free, egg-free, gluten-free, joy-filled banana bread. I added raisins! Y'all. The raisin container has the same sized lid as the coffee container! 

Same size.

I used all the raisins. Now I can use the lid.

I'm so excited. I know it's little, but it's something. 

I get to reuse it. Practically. And now my coffee won't go bad. My heart is happy.

Peace.

Y'all, time out. My refrigerator is singing again. That's weird.

Wait a second! Using this container over and over again is again reusing. I feel so cool and environmental. Thank goodness for helping out the world!

What a happy looking container! Of
course, there's The Office going in
the background.

Compliment

Note. I work with children. Well, I also work with adults. But most of my interaction time is with my students and the students around my school.

Yesterday, I was paid two compliments from students who aren't in my class and I don't think I've actually ever met before. 

I walked to this sunrise a couple weeks ago.
I appreciate it and the vast amount of color in it.

One compliment was on my hair (I like your hair) and one was on my shirt (I really like your shirt). 

I was thinking about this on the way home and thinking about how this relates to the world of being an adult. I ended up on this thought: why don't we randomly compliment people if we appreciate something about them?

I think a lot of the time we're a lot more prone to be negative than positive. It's easier, but not beneficial at all. As for accepting, it hard. It's hard to accept compliments from other people because we're flawed and we know it. We see ourselves for who we really are (and Jesus does, too. That's why He's so wonderfully lovely). 

Join me for a second - what if there was a culture of complimenting in your life? Like the normal was to go around and give compliments to people (whether you know them or not).

Who knows? You could make someone's day. Or week.

And when someone compliments you? Accept it. Say thank you. Smile. Let the person who complimented you know they are valued (this can be done by a smile). 

Be the change. 

Peace.

I Like Chocolate

Chocolate is my favorite. This makes me think of Tugce, as she seemed to get me hooked on eating more chocolate. There's just so many different flavors and kinds! Thanks for that. I send my love to you.

Anyways, I'm a big fan of chocolate. Sadly, chocolate has a lot of sugar. Actually, sugar is in pretty much everything. It's used lots of times as a flavor enhancer in processed food (along with salt). This causes our bodies to become more dependent on sugar (honestly, y'all, it's a drug). I have lots of feelings on sugar, which I think will write a post about that sometime else. 

Anyways, I'm trying to cut almost all sugar out of my diet. Not fructose (I like the fruit and fruit likes me). But yesterday, oh, yesterday, I was craving chocolate like there was no tomorrow.

There was a tomorrow. It was today. 

I should be asleep right now.

I just want to write about chocolate.

Y'all. Time out. I went to a poetry reading tonight at Arrow Coffee. I got coffee. It was awesome. It was like all my hobbies put together in one place. Thanks for going with me, Junye. I appreciate your friendship and adventurous spirit. Also, I wrote a post about poetry one time. Here's this.

Isn't it lovely? I think so.

Anyways. Oh my gosh. Brain. 

I made chocolate! I have had this random almond butter bites in the freezer for a LONG time and I've been needing to use them, as I didn't eat them...for a long...long...long time.

They were made with vanilla, almond butter, a baby bit of salt, and stevia.

I finally found something to do with them - chocolate happiness.

I melted down some coconut oil (y'all, note, I don't measure stuff. I just don't. Sorry if you want amounts) with the almond butter bites. I put in carob powder (which I got at Hy-Vee in the bulk section), cocoa, vanilla, coconut slivers (bulk section...again), chia seeds, flax seeds, and liquid stevia. I melted it all together...

...then I sprayed down a cookie sheet and spread out the random chocolate jazzy jazz thinly on the cookie sheet.

Put it in the freezer.

Then it froze, I took a knife to it, cut it into pieces. Oh, my heart is so happy! It's not super sweet (thank goodness!) and you can get your chocolate craving fix easy without the sugar.

Anyways, I'm cutting out sugar. Or trying. And I made chocolate. And I have a happy heart.

Peace.

OH. My other goal in making this was to use what I had. All the ingredients were found in my pantry - there's no point in buying something that you already have and can use.

Asking for Help? Okay...

Hi.

I don't like to ask for help.

Or for people to give me things.

I think it's something that comes from pride. Me and Jesus (well, Jesus is helping/teaching/sanctifying me) are working on that. 

Anyways. But, sometimes, just sometimes, you need to ask for help.

I think that's one of the best things that I've learned as a teacher.

It's hard, yes, but definitely worth it. I'm a big fan of asking for things that can be found around the house that people don't normally need. Like...
- broken crayons (can be used for fire starters or making new crayons)
- almost-empty candle containers (can be used for storing things and the old wax can be used for fire starters)
- random little prizes/stuffed animals (classroom prize box)
- shoeboxes (Operation Christmas Child)
- packing supplies (when you sell stuff online [see right], you need to have things to send it in)

This is not something I needed help with: I
was playing basketball like a boss with my
students, went on the side of my foot,
and ripped my shoe. I'm super cool.

- school supplies (I'm a teacher, y'all)
- coffee mugs, tea, and cocoa (Christmas presents for my students)
- advice (this is something that is very hard to ask for - you never knew what people are going to say, so that's hard)
- help (with class projects)

Those are just from the last couple of months on my book of faces account. 

I was talking to a friend the other day and she said something that surprised me. To sum it up, she said something like, "I'm really thankful that you ask for help on Facebook." This really surprised me. I asked her to expand on that, and she talked about how she believes it allows people to see that it's okay to ask for help and gives them an opportunity to help. 

I hadn't thought of that. It's okay to ask for help. And it's something that brings lots of people joy - to give help. 

So. Give people help. Ask for help. It's okay to not be able to totally take care of yourself (we all need Jesus). 

Peace.

Oh! And to all the people who have helped me, THANK YOU. I appreciate you so much.

Joy and Trees

I know, I know. I write a lot about trees. I like trees. They show me people and seem to always bring me joy in the midst of insanity. 

I was working on a couple different things today - listing more things to sell online (see the right side bar), cleaning (I failed at this miserably), watching The Office (I claim success in this area), and drinking tea (I also claim success here). I like tea - see? 

Anyways, it was the afternoon and the sun was going to go down soon. I knew that I would feel like it was a wasted day if I didn't spend time outside. So, I went outside.

It was cold.

At least for the beginning of my walk. 

Then I kept walking and it was fantastic. The weather wasn't too cold. The wind wasn't too fierce. And I found my favorite tree.

I have a sad story from this summer - I went to go climb my favorite tree and the entire area it was in was covered in poison ivy. I couldn't even go close. I just could look longingly from the distance at this tree. 

BUT TODAY WAS DIFFERENT. Today, I got to climb my tree.

My heart is so happy. I climbed the tree, sat in the tree, and contemplated life in a tree. I was thinking about a sermon that I listened to the other day that asked, "If you were doing what you were doing right now, would Jesus be pleased with you?" My answer in that tree? Yes, please. I believe He would be more than okay if He found me in a tree (finding joy in what He has made).


Jesus made trees. I praise Jesus for trees.

I would also like to make a note that trees are free entertainment that literally just pop up from the ground. They are there to make oxygen. And bring joy. And be climbed. 

And I stand firm to the idea that we were all made to live in trees.

Peace.

Psalm 1:3 - He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.